Resolutions

2011 is coming very close.

As I wait for my ride that will take me to God-knows-where, I just think about all of 2010. I think of all the things I did and some accomplishments. But, I also think about what I didn't do. Like, fall in love, let a little bit more loose, and still not writing that novel. But above all, I realized I succeded another year in being good.

Which has its ups and downs.

Ups because my parents and grandma have total trust in me. I am STD and not prego. I have goal and not addicted to anything.

The downs is the guilt of doing anything (drinking, sex, drugs) because of fear that my mommy (sarcasm) will find out. I officially been branded as a good girl to my alumni, and its embarrassing to admit that this year, I have finally grown a taste to whiskey, vodka, and rum.

But this year, I want to shed that title in telling that I wouldn't mind staying out all night being stupid once in a while. Still, don't think of me as desperate to go trashy. I am just tired of going out of month or so. I am young and should be foolish once in a while.

I can't tell you what will happen as I start this new year. I don't know myself. I will tell you that I will enter the new year relaxed, young, and owning the night.

Have a happy new year!

Sixteen and Famous

I saw one Chelsea Lately show on E!. The great Handler reported that girls are now trying to get pregnant just to be featured on MTV's Teen Mom and 16 & Pregnant. Okay, this is real bullshit.

Not that I didn't see this coming. I really did figure that eventually these girls are going to thing that getting pregnant mean getting famous. Look at how we treat these girls. They are on safe sex ads and are on the cover of mags like Us Weekly and People. We treat them like their Lady Gaga or Rachel Ray.

In a way, it is MTV's fault. Was it necessary to continue to another season of 16&P? I really don't mind reality shows like The Real World or Bad Girls Club, because they are over 21 and should know the consequences. These girls really don't know shit. They are very delusional if they think that big fat check from MTV would solve all their problems. They shouldn't worry about a kid or cameras. They should worry about what to wear for prom, or raising their GPA.

If MTV want's to make more money, they should just put on more music videos or interviews with musicians. Not getting a bunch of hormonal teens hopes up.

Generation Me topic: Just like me on Facebook

Okay, Generation Me is a very nice book about the growing narcissistic and dramatic thinking of the current generation. I'd say 16 through 25. It's about how we ( yes I am also in this category) were probably taught by the school system that we could be anything we wanted if we worked hard for it. Maybe it is true. I am not saying it isn't. I could go on and on about this, but that would just prove the Generation Me book to be right.

I was thinking how since the book was first published, how the internet has managed to find ways to only feed us to thinking our opinion matters, how we are individuals, and how we need attention. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but could it be made to one? The majority of the text messages I send it to my facebook status. On facebook and twitter, it's really all about me, isn't it. Facebook and Twitter want to know whats on MY mind. It's also a way to look into others profiles and realize that they are so much cooler on line. See, these social networks not only give us bigger egos, but show an expression that we would never do in real life. I never rofl (roll over the floor laughing) in real life! Especially ten times a day like I always seem to do in facebook.

Though, don't get me wrong, facebook still has it's good things. Like the fact that it's easier to find family or old friends. There have been great stories of such things and I will never dis on facebook for that.

Still, facebook seems to become more of a need in my generation. Every day, some users send pictures of nothing really spectacular, just themselves at a flattering angle with a little spark in their eye. Everyday, people send me ridiculous requests for farmville even though in real life they would never touch a farm. And it seems that even those who say they won't get on these social networks for a month, fail after two days. Why would they? It's not like they don't have their phone or have real friends. My thought is that the imaginary audience state of mind one gets in adolescence seems to only grow bigger.

Really though, blogging is the same thing. No one in particular would read this and I really have no purpose for it. Why do I write still? To say I am an individual by doing something millions are doing?

What is this fear she has?

I would call myself independent thinking, not fully independent. Like most of my generation, I live with my parents, trying to smile through community college, and praying to win some big money or even a car to my name. I do call myself independent thinking because I have this huge belief on relationship status. I believe that if the love bug has not bitten me, do not act on it. I do not believe that we should all live the Wonder Woman did (you know, in a world full of girls) just that love shouldn't be rush. Hell, because of this life decision, I can happily say I have never suffered from heartbreak, which is very rare in this day and age. I guess I see myself as Anne in the beginning of the Jane Austen novel, Persuasion. She gave up Captain Wentworth a bit easily and accepted that she was 27 and not married.

I do believe in love though. Just like any Western girl does. I believe that when I see this Mr. Right, he would scare me, thrill me, and win me over in the matter of two weeks (love at first sight is a bit rare). I would have not problem staying true to him, and i could honestly say that. But, I also believe that before I fall in love, I have to love myself, which is really a challenge. My body isn't like Twiggy, my nose an inch to big, my lips are small, and just a bit of stress is enough to make this big pimple appear at the most wrong of places. It's not just physical traits, its personality. I am shy, I say the worst things at the worst time, and I can easily gain stress and nerves. I have to learn to except all my flaws before I can accept another guys flaws.

Why am I bringing all of this up???Why this proud proclamation of single-hood?

Because of a friend I dub Maggie.

Maggie was a high school friend of mine before I moved. She was loud, a bit of a bitch, and fell too hard for a guy. Any guy really. She was obese, and her greatest asset was her double D boobs that did win many guys over. Remember that this was high school and not many girls could attain them without a knife. Boobs were pretty important to guys.

Still, she was a friend, though I almost cussed her out when she said that I would end up as a bum and live with my mom forever. Like I said, she was a bitch. Still I forgave a bit and when I moved back in the city, we went clubbing together. At this time, she moved out of her parents, into a rocky relationship, moved out to her parent, moved in again, got engaged, engagement off. There was cheating on both parties when we went out, she was living with this ex-fiancee and was seeing a college boy who would do anything more than lay down next to her. It would take chapters to fully explain these relationships.

After one night out in a club, this college boy texts her to break up because her ex texted him. She was pissed and it led us to go over to this ex's apartment and confront. Ugh, that apartment was a piece of crap. It smelled like tuna and cat litter.

Ever since that night, I haven't heard from her in a month and on facebook, I found that she was once again engaged to this ex.

I remember asking her why can't she just be single. She never gave me a straight answer. Just how certain guys made her feel. how they either make her feel beautiful or like shit.

This girl is younger than me. She shouldn't be worried about marriage or relationships. Maybe i wouldn't say anything if we were back in the Nifty Fifties and such rants were not approved by me, but this is the 2010's. It's okay to be single, get an education, and go to the club stag. Am I really the only person that sees this?