God Mother

In one of my classes, we learned about the social clock. This can be described as being surrounded by social pressures by your community or peers. Twenty years ago, this would be your grandmother seeing you for Thanksgiving asking when exactly she'll have great grand kids.

But now the social clock is more digital and I see it every time I'm on facebook. I swear, I can't go on facebook without seeing pictures of babies and hearing cute things the five year old girl said. The crazy thing is that the mother of this next generation were my peers who wanted to go to a university or get the hell out of the city. Few are happily married while the majority are separated from the sperm donor.

I guess it's my form of social clock because I feel that my wall doesn't compare to those of first footsteps or little pink noses. I feel...alone as a single, not prego college girl.

And now the fact that Candy and Micro are having a baby makes me feel more alone. Worst of all...I'm deemed the God Mother.

I kind of wanted to shake Candy and tell her it's a bit mistake. I really wish she'll just put the kid up for adoption. Her and Micro are not ready to begin a relationship with a child.

But since the whole world is against them on this, like the good bff, I must suck it up and by her "What to Expect". They should really come up with a book called "What Not to Expect".

The Blue Corner

Probably should have posted this earlier, but Lord knows I was going through some personal shit. Let's talk about the new Facebook layout.

It started out simple enough. The made the chat bar more visible, and if you have it on your phone, you could still online. chat. But then they decided to make the news feed less chronological. They basically put all popular stories first and all the recent stories at the end. I always figured new is better, but I guess not. Then I notice that things like someone liking a link is put off to the side. Worst part: they introduced the blue corner.

For anyone who was smart enough not to get a fb account, let me fill you in. The blue corner is just that right on someones post. I guess to make it look like a dog-ear. The purpose is to tag all the peoples posts that you might be interested in. They never get mine right. How do they even guess?

I know Facebook is trying to make it more personalized and convenient, but it really comes off as that creepy neighbor that looks at you as he's watering the lawn. It makes me wonder how much fb does know about some people and is that really a good thing.

And seeing what everyone is listening or watching on fb almost goes close to stalking. I really could care less what my cousin is listening to.

I see that these changes went from being about connecting with loved ones into people really just being their own channel. Is it really a good thing that we say everything about ourselves.

I know me blogging isn't really any different. But you guys really don't know what I do. You know I am a student and very naive. I am emotional and a pessimist. But what else really?

Britney's BS

When people think Britney Spears they could think one of two things

1.) That crazy celeb that shaved her head and gets photo raped constantly

or

2.) The pop star that was the first to shed the Disney title like it was an over-sized coat.

With social networking, it's become even more possible to know what your celebs are up to. Lady Gaga posts her philosophies, Ashton Kutcher shares what he thinks is cool on the web, Katy Perry asks fans to send her party pics for concerts, and Kesha really just says random shit.

But what Britney Spears has done is something on a totally cool level. I don't know if she is the first person to do this, or if there are many others. What Spears does is send BS alerts on her facebook/twitter page.

What's a BS alert? I will tell you. Say you pick up one of those God awful magazines like People or OK. They would most likely have a story about Spears. What she does is if she sees anything she deems untrue or unflattering, she will post the magazine on her facebook and call it BS or "bullshit".

She has a album on these alerts. It seems a bit cool to me because all her career, she has had tabloids constantly watching her every move. The fact that celebrities can fight back by web is something to be admired. I know I have said in the past that I believed that facebook and twitter seems to do is feed egos, but I have to admit, there is it's good too.

Where I'll Stop Nobody Knows

First off I would like to say that people have actually been viewing this blog. Not a bother, but it's nice to know I am being viewed. Since I didn't tell any of my friends (except from a website) about this blog, I am happy to know a complete stranger is watching. And that sounded creepy. Is it my charm that is so appealing?

Okay, enough about me.

So, right now, American is really going through crazy shit because of our debt. I'm not a political brain, but I do know that we might end up borrowing money from other countries. Some people (Republicans?) think that doing so would show weakness. Which I could see why. Politics must have been invented by man because it's always about making countries seem tough. The affect it will have on my generation is not so good. There is the fact that Planned Parenthood might be doing less planning, Financial Aid would could cut in half, and tuition just went up eight dollars.

I heard on CNN earlier today that the Republicans do not want to give fair taxes to the rich. My British fantasy would say "Why the bloody hell not???" I agree.

Like I said before, America is full of celebrities, ones that really don't do anything. Rich celebrities. Imagine just giving a fair amount to all those no good celebrities, how this would suck less. Lord knows the decrease we would get if Oprah did them. I don't know if they do, like I said, I am not a politics brain. I just found the topic that the rich get richer while the poor get poorer very interesting.

So if there is anyone 18-25 please vote for whatever election. It's obvious that our generation is also suffering from this. Mid-class home owners are not alone on this. Also, don't spend money on the latest iPhone or Xbox or something like that. We are obviously going to need the money seeing as how this country is really going to the dogs.

So because of my debt scare and my feeling lonely, I keep thinking one thing. That was Get the hell out of the U.S.. I know that other places have it worse, but I will get to that.

I am very broke though. At this point I couldn't afford to buy luggage for a grand trip to Europe. I need to go somewhere rich with culture and not run by media. I am actually having a love/hate relationship with facebook. I am tired of mass media, even tired of Lady Gaga. Yes, it's getting THAT bad.

So I want to volunteer for a few months.

You read correctly. I want to volunteer in a poverty stricken country. I think I need to be away from family and friends for a little while to really find at least a piece of myself. Maybe even to be more appreciative of my own country.

I didn't know that even volunteer for a few months in a country, you also need to pay. Which is not really cool. But, if I do get the job, and I save enough, maybe I'll go.

My sub header mention fulfillment, but I haven't really been filling lately. So, this summer I am going to work on that.

Mr. Facebook

I am used to girls taking pictures of themselves all the time on my facebook. I get it, their photogenic. Pet peeve is that they alter the photos and do something weird like put little hearts or get a friend (who looks a bit more plain by comparison) and put neon pink "Besties For Life" or something like that at the bottom. Still, that's what girls do. We take pictures like hell and only show the good ones to the public. I don't really do that though because I only like specific angles and very picky with posing.

Okay, now let me get to what this blog is really about. There was this guy in my *** class that was kind of cute and really friendly. At first, I thought he was gay because he talked about Katy Perry without mentioning she had nice boobs and said something about knowing how to do facials (which, now that I think of it, I hope he didn't mean any sexual innuendos by that). So, I flirted a little bit,, and even added him on my facebook. But, as the semester went on, I found him to be too tiring. He is very politically spoken, but he says he didn't care about politics. He is always trying to make friends with the instructor during class, but then goes on to say shit about him after class. He thrives on attention too. The thing that is not appealing is that he is younger than me (not by much but still) and I could tell he has a LOT of growing to do. I like mature guys that are funny, but not at the sake of someone's humiliation.

The most unappealing thing about him is he takes photos like a girl. Sure, all the other guys on my facebook update their pics, but spontaneously between few weeks to months! This guy does it a few times EVERY WEEK. And course its the usual black shirt, with cap, looking in mirror, flexing muscles. He doesn't even look like that in real life. He is taken now (or "it's complicated") and I find myself not minding it so much like I thought I would. It does make me worry, how many guys are like this in the country-world? How many guys will I add onto my facebook that take pictures daily and put in lyrics by drake every day? The idea that there is more like him out there is VERY scary. I really feel sorry for the next generation when the guys will decorate their pics with stars.

Yeah, I Know He is Not That Into Me

Its very sad when I do something I know is wrong, but I do so anyways. Like purposely ruining someones things, back stab, or drink while I am still underage. Things that I would never let my own mother (who still feels I am an angel) know.

But I purposely decided after getting a bar over tipsy to do something very out of character. That was text a guy I know is taken. Now, I couldn't really tell you why I decided this. Let me just say though, even though he invited, I did not sext. Still, my comments were so out of character and that Barcadi made me more gutsy than I would ever have thought. Let me tell you, he did admit to being taken, but he did not seem to have his girlfriend on his mind. I don't know, but that fact that I was on a taken guy's mind felt powerful and fun. Now I know why some broads go as far as to sleep with a married man. It felt good, like this big shot of self-esteem was put straight in my veins.

But, the next morning I did feel bad. Because of this girl that I never met before. I have had family members with cheating spouses, and I know how bad they feel. Hell, they feel heartbroken.

And the guy hasn't text me again. So that whole new level of self-esteem I had went down. I knew I was on his mind for a little bit. Still, I went with it just for a bit of drunken fun.

Truthfully readers, I really don't care if I never talk to him again. Why would I want a guy would would rather sext with a Facebook friend then be with a woman he is commeted to. Also, karma is a bitch and I would hate to see what payback I get.

I'm really just disappointed at what I did.

Well, there is another tomorrow.

Generation Me topic: Just like me on Facebook

Okay, Generation Me is a very nice book about the growing narcissistic and dramatic thinking of the current generation. I'd say 16 through 25. It's about how we ( yes I am also in this category) were probably taught by the school system that we could be anything we wanted if we worked hard for it. Maybe it is true. I am not saying it isn't. I could go on and on about this, but that would just prove the Generation Me book to be right.

I was thinking how since the book was first published, how the internet has managed to find ways to only feed us to thinking our opinion matters, how we are individuals, and how we need attention. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but could it be made to one? The majority of the text messages I send it to my facebook status. On facebook and twitter, it's really all about me, isn't it. Facebook and Twitter want to know whats on MY mind. It's also a way to look into others profiles and realize that they are so much cooler on line. See, these social networks not only give us bigger egos, but show an expression that we would never do in real life. I never rofl (roll over the floor laughing) in real life! Especially ten times a day like I always seem to do in facebook.

Though, don't get me wrong, facebook still has it's good things. Like the fact that it's easier to find family or old friends. There have been great stories of such things and I will never dis on facebook for that.

Still, facebook seems to become more of a need in my generation. Every day, some users send pictures of nothing really spectacular, just themselves at a flattering angle with a little spark in their eye. Everyday, people send me ridiculous requests for farmville even though in real life they would never touch a farm. And it seems that even those who say they won't get on these social networks for a month, fail after two days. Why would they? It's not like they don't have their phone or have real friends. My thought is that the imaginary audience state of mind one gets in adolescence seems to only grow bigger.

Really though, blogging is the same thing. No one in particular would read this and I really have no purpose for it. Why do I write still? To say I am an individual by doing something millions are doing?

What is this fear she has?

I would call myself independent thinking, not fully independent. Like most of my generation, I live with my parents, trying to smile through community college, and praying to win some big money or even a car to my name. I do call myself independent thinking because I have this huge belief on relationship status. I believe that if the love bug has not bitten me, do not act on it. I do not believe that we should all live the Wonder Woman did (you know, in a world full of girls) just that love shouldn't be rush. Hell, because of this life decision, I can happily say I have never suffered from heartbreak, which is very rare in this day and age. I guess I see myself as Anne in the beginning of the Jane Austen novel, Persuasion. She gave up Captain Wentworth a bit easily and accepted that she was 27 and not married.

I do believe in love though. Just like any Western girl does. I believe that when I see this Mr. Right, he would scare me, thrill me, and win me over in the matter of two weeks (love at first sight is a bit rare). I would have not problem staying true to him, and i could honestly say that. But, I also believe that before I fall in love, I have to love myself, which is really a challenge. My body isn't like Twiggy, my nose an inch to big, my lips are small, and just a bit of stress is enough to make this big pimple appear at the most wrong of places. It's not just physical traits, its personality. I am shy, I say the worst things at the worst time, and I can easily gain stress and nerves. I have to learn to except all my flaws before I can accept another guys flaws.

Why am I bringing all of this up???Why this proud proclamation of single-hood?

Because of a friend I dub Maggie.

Maggie was a high school friend of mine before I moved. She was loud, a bit of a bitch, and fell too hard for a guy. Any guy really. She was obese, and her greatest asset was her double D boobs that did win many guys over. Remember that this was high school and not many girls could attain them without a knife. Boobs were pretty important to guys.

Still, she was a friend, though I almost cussed her out when she said that I would end up as a bum and live with my mom forever. Like I said, she was a bitch. Still I forgave a bit and when I moved back in the city, we went clubbing together. At this time, she moved out of her parents, into a rocky relationship, moved out to her parent, moved in again, got engaged, engagement off. There was cheating on both parties when we went out, she was living with this ex-fiancee and was seeing a college boy who would do anything more than lay down next to her. It would take chapters to fully explain these relationships.

After one night out in a club, this college boy texts her to break up because her ex texted him. She was pissed and it led us to go over to this ex's apartment and confront. Ugh, that apartment was a piece of crap. It smelled like tuna and cat litter.

Ever since that night, I haven't heard from her in a month and on facebook, I found that she was once again engaged to this ex.

I remember asking her why can't she just be single. She never gave me a straight answer. Just how certain guys made her feel. how they either make her feel beautiful or like shit.

This girl is younger than me. She shouldn't be worried about marriage or relationships. Maybe i wouldn't say anything if we were back in the Nifty Fifties and such rants were not approved by me, but this is the 2010's. It's okay to be single, get an education, and go to the club stag. Am I really the only person that sees this?