What is this fear she has?

I would call myself independent thinking, not fully independent. Like most of my generation, I live with my parents, trying to smile through community college, and praying to win some big money or even a car to my name. I do call myself independent thinking because I have this huge belief on relationship status. I believe that if the love bug has not bitten me, do not act on it. I do not believe that we should all live the Wonder Woman did (you know, in a world full of girls) just that love shouldn't be rush. Hell, because of this life decision, I can happily say I have never suffered from heartbreak, which is very rare in this day and age. I guess I see myself as Anne in the beginning of the Jane Austen novel, Persuasion. She gave up Captain Wentworth a bit easily and accepted that she was 27 and not married.

I do believe in love though. Just like any Western girl does. I believe that when I see this Mr. Right, he would scare me, thrill me, and win me over in the matter of two weeks (love at first sight is a bit rare). I would have not problem staying true to him, and i could honestly say that. But, I also believe that before I fall in love, I have to love myself, which is really a challenge. My body isn't like Twiggy, my nose an inch to big, my lips are small, and just a bit of stress is enough to make this big pimple appear at the most wrong of places. It's not just physical traits, its personality. I am shy, I say the worst things at the worst time, and I can easily gain stress and nerves. I have to learn to except all my flaws before I can accept another guys flaws.

Why am I bringing all of this up???Why this proud proclamation of single-hood?

Because of a friend I dub Maggie.

Maggie was a high school friend of mine before I moved. She was loud, a bit of a bitch, and fell too hard for a guy. Any guy really. She was obese, and her greatest asset was her double D boobs that did win many guys over. Remember that this was high school and not many girls could attain them without a knife. Boobs were pretty important to guys.

Still, she was a friend, though I almost cussed her out when she said that I would end up as a bum and live with my mom forever. Like I said, she was a bitch. Still I forgave a bit and when I moved back in the city, we went clubbing together. At this time, she moved out of her parents, into a rocky relationship, moved out to her parent, moved in again, got engaged, engagement off. There was cheating on both parties when we went out, she was living with this ex-fiancee and was seeing a college boy who would do anything more than lay down next to her. It would take chapters to fully explain these relationships.

After one night out in a club, this college boy texts her to break up because her ex texted him. She was pissed and it led us to go over to this ex's apartment and confront. Ugh, that apartment was a piece of crap. It smelled like tuna and cat litter.

Ever since that night, I haven't heard from her in a month and on facebook, I found that she was once again engaged to this ex.

I remember asking her why can't she just be single. She never gave me a straight answer. Just how certain guys made her feel. how they either make her feel beautiful or like shit.

This girl is younger than me. She shouldn't be worried about marriage or relationships. Maybe i wouldn't say anything if we were back in the Nifty Fifties and such rants were not approved by me, but this is the 2010's. It's okay to be single, get an education, and go to the club stag. Am I really the only person that sees this?