The Blue Corner

Probably should have posted this earlier, but Lord knows I was going through some personal shit. Let's talk about the new Facebook layout.

It started out simple enough. The made the chat bar more visible, and if you have it on your phone, you could still online. chat. But then they decided to make the news feed less chronological. They basically put all popular stories first and all the recent stories at the end. I always figured new is better, but I guess not. Then I notice that things like someone liking a link is put off to the side. Worst part: they introduced the blue corner.

For anyone who was smart enough not to get a fb account, let me fill you in. The blue corner is just that right on someones post. I guess to make it look like a dog-ear. The purpose is to tag all the peoples posts that you might be interested in. They never get mine right. How do they even guess?

I know Facebook is trying to make it more personalized and convenient, but it really comes off as that creepy neighbor that looks at you as he's watering the lawn. It makes me wonder how much fb does know about some people and is that really a good thing.

And seeing what everyone is listening or watching on fb almost goes close to stalking. I really could care less what my cousin is listening to.

I see that these changes went from being about connecting with loved ones into people really just being their own channel. Is it really a good thing that we say everything about ourselves.

I know me blogging isn't really any different. But you guys really don't know what I do. You know I am a student and very naive. I am emotional and a pessimist. But what else really?

Am I in Neverland?

I was on just seconds ago, and I saw one of my friends I was very close with on facebook.. She looked, totally different. Less punk and more pop. That's really not a bad thing because God knows I am also down that route. But still, I keep seeing pictures of who i suspect is her little boy. Not because she has a big caption that says MY SON, but more because she doesn't deny that's it's hers. I just feel that she went prego on me even though we kind of swore to each other we wouldn't. I know, it's stupid to make such a promise, but at eighteen, it was not. Still isn't to me. She doesn't have much on her in her info, so I don't know what her relationship status is. Then I have come to realize that the majority of my facebook friends have kids or are engaged. Lord knows my best friend, Candy has been on a fast track with this guy I shall call Micro.

I am really starting to wonder if everyone else is going too fast or have I just been stuck in Neverland. Never moving forward with relationships. I keep thinking of all my failed conquests all because either my standards were too high or because I just saw right through them. I guess you could say that I know when a guy is being fake, and normally the ones that pursue me are just that.

I really am not sure when single hood became this big mystery to me. I don't even remember when it started coming out as a bad thing. I always thought being single was cool, but then you see your friends in such a hurry to get married or pregnant, it really gets me to thinking that maybe I got the formula wrong.

I don't really know...for once.

Two and a Half Men goes sexy

I am really posting this because I just finished watching the new show. I looked at the comments on the bottom and was she shocked to find so many disses on the stud named Ashton Kutcher. It's obvious to see why. No one wants Charlie Sheen gone from something that obviously touched peoples hearts. They kept commenting on how Sheen was the one that made the show. Normally I would say to the haters "If you don't like the show anymore, then why call yourself a fan". But really, that would just make me a hypocrite. Like the new Carrie Diaries that is really supposed to be a prequel to Sex and The City. Or something like that. I read SOME of the book and it was...blah. Your average teen first time bull. I basically stopped there.

But then I hear this new show was going to include all former characters from the show, which does confuse me because they weren't in the book. Either way, I would prefer to hear my Samantha Jones than this new one.

The whole bedazzling old shows like Two and a Half Men and the upcoming Charlie's Angels did make me think of what it's really about. No, not money, which is always the primary answer. But dig a little deeper and see that it's about time. Even though the original audience doesn't care for a ab-tastic Two and a Half Men, it's really not about them. It's about the new viewers. I guess that's why people get so pissed at people that do like the show. Because chances are that they are younger and just enjoy these things better. These originals are bitter and aging and no matter what, they will remember of what that show once was.

Whoa, I made this kind of deep. Leave it to me I guess.

I saw the show and i wasn't too impressed myself. But not because Ashton Kutcher was the spawn of Satan. Really because They just introduced a new character and the story took place after Charlie's funeral. Come on! Why would it be happy? But Jake was awkward and pissed like usual so that really made up for it. See, wasn't all bad.

"Intellectually Stimulated"

So, I mentioned before I just naturally have a thing for teachers. Like this messed up fascination with them. It's not all teachers like females. But it's mostly handsome male men. Normally, it never was a problem. Elementary and Middle School, it was all okay. I didn't have those feeling. But probably because those men were not handsome.

What is it with all the handsome teachers being in high school or college? Is there some bone structure requirement they must pass to teach elementary? Come on, I'm sure the kindergarden teacher wouldn't mind a little eye-candy. I am jsut saying that i have never seen a Jason Segal or Justin Timberlake teach Social Studies.

I think you know where this is going. That teacher that I said I like in the last post. Not the English one, that one with the gray hair. Yep, got him again. Lord knows it was intended. I thought that maybe, it was some school girl phase and that i was all grown up now. Apparently not the case. he just makes these faces I like and I like how he says my name. Ok, stopping now. Blushing in public. Not cool.

I really like it when he "steps on toes" and really starts an uproar in class. I don't know, babbling again.

I showed Candy the picture before the semester started. She was, I guess, expecting Johnny Depp or Brad Pitt.She seemed very unimpressed with his gray hair and nerdy polo and said that he was old. I thought he looked good for his age. Whatever that was.

So, for once, Candy saw what madness I had. She said that I was "intellectually stimulated" which means I get turned on by brains. Well, that makes too much sense. I do drool at a good ass, so that's nice. But i have to admit, the girl is right. I always like a guy who knows his stuff. And i don't mean drugs or Ambercrombie and Fitch. A guy that has a passion to learn more and loves to share that. I.e. a teacher. :(

Still doesn't explain why I never see ugly first grade teachers.

Whose Fault is it Anyways?

Okay, so ultimate family drama in the family business. My mom and uncle both run the show. So, I am not going through the whole bit because that not what this post is about. Bottom line: Business is failing. Mom: Blamed because she borrows the money. Uncle: Blamed because he spends the money.

So the past 24 hours. The family has been in a uproar on whose fault it is. I actually just feel like a bad witness to all of this. I really want to be with my mom 100%. I really do. But she is threatening to quit altogether, and I know that is just a bad idea. Really bad. Because she has kids and so many other obligations, she can't afford to quit. It just can't be done. So I am very much worried for her. Not only that, but she is threatening to cut off as many ties to my uncle as possible. This is bad because, what would this look like to the younger generation when all family traditions are shut down?

My uncle is a piece of work. He is a very pugnacious man. Say one raw thing to him, and shit hits the fan. He is also guilty for screwing up the company. Even though my mom got a loan from the company (further proof she can't afford to quit). My uncle raped the company. he put what was supposed to be one thing, into this Frankenstein octopus this with crooked tentacles. Example that if one starts a business, it should remain singular, not plural unless you can afford it. Not only that, but he also spends the company money on other extravagances "for the employees" a.k.a, his labor buddies that he buys food for.

Really sad that I have no real risk in the business, but feel gray hairs poking out. I am mostly mad at my uncle for being such a dick, but I am irritated with my mom. I understand where she's coming from and maybe if she had a different life I would support her. But I am not happy she is risking my own siblings well being.

Why is that family members are stubborn? Why is it that our pride chokes the truth right out of us. When I notice I am being a dick, I try to fess up to it before it gets used for ammo. I guess it's a bittersweet gift. But the more I thought on this topic, the more i see in my family how everyone has to always be right. Just for the smallest little pellet too.

Big example is when I could only buy a swimsuit from a certain place because my mom failed to tell me we were going to the water park. After thinking about it, I decided that I would rather be in a crappy bathing suit rather than baking in the sun. I told my mom to go ahead and go to the store. She goes on to say, "Oh, I thought you said you didn't want to go to the store". You know, in this know-it-all tone. I said I changed my mind. She then says, "Well, I told you to just get a swimsuit and you said you didn't want one." Was there really a point in saying that?

I am really tired of all this family drama and I PRAY that it will all work out. Let me tell you, it isn't the first row, but it is a shitty one.

Not Giving a Damn is So Expensive

I was kind of thinking about my style throughout my life. I had my princess stage. Mom would dress her little darling up in frilly dresses to where I looked like a Marie Osmond doll. Then there was my pop stage. All the girls in middle school went through this at my school. We would try to mimic what was saw on TV movies from Disney. We normally got these clothes all in one store called Limited Too where they sold cd's from Backstreet Boys or Lizzie McGuire books.

I thought about my high school style though. All I could say was that it was trying. But the one thing I do remember wearing the most in my HS career was the little black shirt.

Okay, I had a drawer full of just black shirts. Each with some different sign. But I do remember envying girls who got there full goth on. Like the frilly skirts, the high boots, and the dramatic make up.

You know when you look on your facebook, you page has all these ads based on you interests? One of my ads is for "Authentic Gothic Attire". WTF? I got curious though and took a look.

I remember how two shirts from popular "edgy" store from Hot Topic is basically forty bucks. A frickin blouse on that website was forty bucks. I always figured goth, grunge, emo, or punk people were supposed to dress to piss off society. I never thought pissing someone off would be so expensive. I hear that most of these lifestyles just go to a thriftstore, but I'd imagine it would have to be a pretty awesome one because Goodwill never seems to provide to their standards. Not from what I've seen anyways.

My style now has become more expensive, but really because I do care. That's not a bad thing either. I'm not saying I go out in my Gucci sandals (I wish), but I don't rely on black like I used to. I shop at American Eagle or Forever 21. Course, if I feel rich, I go to Buckle. Still, when i look at my closet now, I see how different I changed. But my new go to article of clothing has become jeans. Not a bad thing. I'm sure one day I'll grow out of that as well.