I just don't feel like I belong

I know for a fact that I am not the only person that feels this way. I can't possibly be. But the feeling has become more prominent these past two days. A weekend of not going out has really made me look at the big picture here. That is that no matter how much I stay out or how fun it is, I don't really fit with that group. Maybe Candy and I would always be friends, but not really. Like we could do without each other fine. I think we just rely on each other (myself especially) like a drug we can't live without. It really sucks because no matter how many people I meet in my city, I don't fit in. I really don't. They want to talk about each other and Jersey Shore, but I want to talk about books, society, politics, and to live in a place like Italy and France. Shit, not even the students at this damn community college get me. You think they would at least be a bit more into the things I am into. It seems that when I go on about the symbolism of Scarlet Letter without mentioning Easy A, they look at me like I am speaking in another language. My mom always tells me that I need people who like books and social sciences. I agree, but there very hard to find. I hate to say it, but I need to move out of this state. I really do. But how am I supposed to do that?

All that Glitters is Fame

You will be very interested to know dear readers that I did NOT go out two nights in a row which is great progress. I am still sleepy, but not dead-to-the-world sleepy. Like I-could-make-it-sleepy. It's good to because this week is very important with one last test to change my grade point average and an essay due, I have to be on my A game.

I guess the reason for my lack of going out is the fact that I have been too busy looking for a job. It's more pressuring to do it in such a crappy economy. Why am I doing this? Because I believe I was Marie Antoinette in a past life-meaning I am a shopoholic. No, I am not joking. So far, I have gotten better. I don't rely on ebay as much, but anytime I go to a mall or shopping center it gets hard to resist. So, to feed this habit, I must get a job because Financial Aid can only do so much. I already spent a lot and that's just with things for class. I didn't even splurge this year.

I should get a call sometime this week. I applied at a clothing store and the girls that I know I was up against was two girls. One used to work at Dilliards, but has a huge job gap. The other is a mother of...I guess three. I feel really bad for the latter because who really wants to steal a job from a single mother who is trying to fight the recession? As sickened as I was by my interview, I still put on my shit-eating grin and talked in my tourist guide voice (maybe a should apply for that).

So, with my new time on hand, I was looking on E a lot, and what do you know, they are talking about the Kardashians.

I think reality TV is a huge waist of money. Sure, I am addicted to Bad Girls Club, but I know those girls don't come back unless their real good at being...bad? It's shows that involve the Kardashians, Kendra (girl that's married to that athlete), teen moms, and Jersey Shore that seriously piss me off. I say, shows on teen pregnancy just encourage it no matter how many safe sex campaigns MTV puts on. Kardashians and Kendra are nothing spectacular. Yeah, I know the Kardashians have their own store, but there might as well be a store for ALL shop owners. They say stupid things and everything is about drama. The only thing interesting about Kendra was that she was Hugh Heff's girlfriend. And Jersey Shore is...you get, stupid.

It really pisses me off that those people live so well without having to lift a finger while the rest of us are looking for employment and most that really deserve it won't get picked because they have a family to raise. U. S. ...what the hell?