The Second Summer Reflection

So, my summer has officially ended. I just have a week off before I go back for fall. I discovered that I can now apply for a university I was really interested in. Even if i can't afford, it would be nice to be accepted. I am excited to start a new chapter. I am excited to get out of prison. I know how I have it good, but sometimes, those things come with a price...like your dignity.

As much as I love my family, I know I can't take another year living with them. I need that self discovery, and I wouldn't mind another college being a excuse.

My second summer reflection is that people are selfish. I guess if you're a saint, no, but other than that, we are all pretty damn selfish. Sometimes fun does come before loved ones. I have been guilty of it myself, but kicking someone while their down isn't that fun.

I am sick of the life I'm living. So I promise that by next summer, I will not be in this spot.

The Summer Reflection

I know that it's a bit early for this. I believe school ends for me three weeks fromnow, but I am going to reflect anyways.

I learned that not everyone is a two dimensional character. like King. She introduces herself as this nice girl, but she is really fake. Not just to Candy, but to me. I hate how she always tries to be more real than me Just because I don't do E, doesn't mean I'm not real. Then, there is Net. She is a sweet girl, but I think being close to her mom for so long screwed her up somehow. I normally come off as shy, but Net makes me look like a party girl. That is sad.

I have also noticed that I am not as hesitant to take a chance on clothes or trends, which is always a plus for a shopaholic like me. But, I am also more relaxed with other people which is another bonus.

I also learned to really think about my classes. Think REALLY hard.

Really can't wait for fall classes, especially since I have a crush on one of the instructors. I guess I'll call him Mr.H? Yeah, that'll do.

Why I Just Get More Pale and Less Tanned

I had a vision for this summer. The vision: Days at the beach, nights with vodka, passing both classes with a click of a mouse, and a set of new shoes. Like pumps or maybe a nice sling back. Instead, I got: family drama, failing one class, and going crazy by staying inside for days. Worst thing is I have yet to go to the gym and now I gained about three pounds and lost the tone in my legs. I used to be so proud that I had better legs than King and Bunny and now their like jell-o.

Summer is normally like this for me though. But I really need to get out of the slump soon. First step is going to get a burger with the shy girl that I will dub Net and going to see a movie. It doesn't sound like much, but it leads to something bigger.

Second is that I really want to start hanging out at a library or a cafe. Anything to get out of the house and be myself again.

And third is a membership to a gym.

At least I will soon get those shoes.

I am still worried about the financial aid thing. I have so many scenarios of how this could go down. When I freak out like this, I always have to remind myself that I am not the first person to do this and get out alive. In all honesty, I think they'll just make me pay some fine. I think besides these two withdraws, I have actually done pretty good. I have yet to fail and I would be damned if I fail a class.

It's just a few more weeks and I am done with the mess. ugh. I just need to breath