Message from the Ghost of Christmas Gifts

Christmas (or holidays if you prefer) has been driven more towards tablets and cell phones rather than the the holiday dinner. We have made a sport on that big sale on a TV rather than taking time to make a ginger-bread house with the kids. What's worse, a family would rather just buy a bunch of useless shit for the kids rather than save up money for a classic Christmas cabin away from ads and facebook.

I admit, being a shopaholic, it's a thrill to go to the mall with my war make-up on. But I was thinking that sometimes the gifts just remain useless and stuffed in a cob-webbed corner of a closet. Also, these gifts aren't even unique or thoughtful. Majority of my presents are damn gift cards!!! How is my present different from anyone else's or shows my true gratefulness of the person?

My Christmas past did involve presents, but after some thought, I realize I just had a handful that I still use. A leather jacket from grandma, a book of poems from my mom, and some hooker boots also from my mom (even at the age of 14, heels were a passion). But I don't remember Christmas by the presents, rather by the unique moments before and after. The Christmas moment I long for all year is the mass. I don't really go to church, but it's always been this necessity for me to go on that day. I think because the sin inside me is burning my leather jacket off. Either way, it's a simple piece of Christmas that does not require a trip to the mall.

So what I'm saying is the Dr. Seuss was right in the Christmas story "How the Grinch Stole Christmas". Christmas should not be made of gifts or how much you spend on a person. It should be about the moments we share and will cherish.

Where is Potter...more

Okay, so all seven books and movies are officially out and there is one Harry Potter theme park with one on the way. How awesome is that.

There is this one thing that really ticks me off about the franchise and that is the teasing of fucking Pottermore.

I wish I could explain what Pottermore is. I am only assuming (because I am not a Beta) that it’s a community of HP fans (what do you call them?) that join in on some behind the scene stuff on the books. A.k.a: It’s really just milking the money making cow.

I have no problem with some more HP. Sometimes, I do feel that maybe we should put the franchise to rest. However we are in a time where entertainment is kept alive at all costs. Like comic book heroes, Star Wars, Star Trek, the Beatles, and Lord of the Rings (remember, there is “Hobbit” the movie coming out). Hell I still want a portrait of Marilyn Monroe or Audrey Hepburn.

The difference is that this whole Pottermore thing is not open to the public. I’m sorry I don’t watch out for things like Quill challenges on my computer. Sorry that I felt that my grades were at risk. It doesn’t, however explain why the hell this whole Beta period is taking forever.

All I’m saying is that if things like facebook and google+ can handle more than a million followers and still keep up with things like updates, why not Pottermore?

A Semester Done...Now What?

A semester is done and the possibilities ahead of me seem scary but refreshing at the same time. Mostly because i am pretty damn proud of my 3.0 GPA. In high school, I was lucky enough for a 2.5. So this is a self-esteem booster.

It’s like this for me because I can officially go to a university. Well, if they’ll except me. And they better! But still, I always wanted to go to a university, even when I knew the odds were against me. Believe me, they were. In high school, I had such low self-esteem that I skipped classes and made a minimum effort of trying.

Okay, enough with the whole inspirational “Freedom Writers” bit.

As on year is coming to a end, another will begin and the older my ass will be. Lately I have been thinking of my singlehood and how there seemed to be no Mr. Books in the south. I guess it plagues me more because Candy is having a baby and I am going for university (soon?). I have come to this realization that no matter how great our friendship is, we belong in different paths.

So that’s what growing up is I guess. There is only one thing to do…I think.

Must be Another Mr. Books

The semester is technically over. Only exams this week and next. Then, it will be the last day to be in the class of Mr. Books. For those who aren't familiar, Mr. Books is the teacher I've been daydreaming about for a year. This is the last class I'll ever really have him in and it's very sad. Because he is in his fifties and I am in my twenties. He is my teacher and I am a student. He is married and I have a sick case of daddy issues (which is weird because I know my dad does love me in a appropriate way).

I am not delusional on the whole situation. So I keep my distance, while admiring his deep voice and intellect that I so much desire. Sometimes I wish I was to get the craving out of me. To just act upon the damn deed and move on with life.

Candy is the only person that knows about this sick dream. She deemed it being "intellectual stimulation" that was the problem. I very much agree.

When I meet a guy, I do find some attractive. If it has to be between "gangster" and "cowboy" I normally go for cowboy. However, conversation is shallow and flirting is fucking to most. I just don't have fun with guys my own age.

I know why too. My mom has always commented that I had an "old soul" and if I was in middle school I wouldn't believe her. However, I realized that I do prefer to talk to older men and women than my own age group. Ha, probably why I have a few close friends (as I always say, best to have a few good friends than a lot of bad ones). I never thought my "old soul" would be this much of a problem.

But as an old soul, I know that it's not right to want another woman's man. It really isn't. However, I pray to God I will find my own Mr. Books. Also pray he is at least my age if not in his 30's.

Maybe there are just no available Mr. Books where I'm at.

Might have to change that soon.

Limbo

On these posts, I try to be as balanced as possible. I always try to be gray as the situation allows me.

But these days, I find myself in a darker color and facing high school habits. I want a smoke and a drink so bad just to forget of the past wasted days I had. I am literally in this limbo and it feels like no one with push me out. I try moving myself, but my steps got heavy and my breath shorter. I see how blessed I am, but the fact that good things turn sour is what’s killing me.

I need an escape.

I need a friend that will go with me to a darker fun.

Just someone to get me away from limbo.

God Mother

In one of my classes, we learned about the social clock. This can be described as being surrounded by social pressures by your community or peers. Twenty years ago, this would be your grandmother seeing you for Thanksgiving asking when exactly she'll have great grand kids.

But now the social clock is more digital and I see it every time I'm on facebook. I swear, I can't go on facebook without seeing pictures of babies and hearing cute things the five year old girl said. The crazy thing is that the mother of this next generation were my peers who wanted to go to a university or get the hell out of the city. Few are happily married while the majority are separated from the sperm donor.

I guess it's my form of social clock because I feel that my wall doesn't compare to those of first footsteps or little pink noses. I feel...alone as a single, not prego college girl.

And now the fact that Candy and Micro are having a baby makes me feel more alone. Worst of all...I'm deemed the God Mother.

I kind of wanted to shake Candy and tell her it's a bit mistake. I really wish she'll just put the kid up for adoption. Her and Micro are not ready to begin a relationship with a child.

But since the whole world is against them on this, like the good bff, I must suck it up and by her "What to Expect". They should really come up with a book called "What Not to Expect".

It's Called Being a Gentleman!

Men, I would like to tell you something. If you want a girl to take home to mama, the first step is to not look for a whore.

Okay, don’t you act like you don’t know the difference between trash and treasure. I know for a fact you do, else how do you know which girl to bang for the night?

Second step is to win the girl, and it’s easy to get her interested for the time being, but we both know your thinking about SEX.

Candy gave this guy my phone number. So we were texting, and then he asked for pics. I gave him two. One without cleavage and the other one with. But he kept asking and then he was basically sexting me.

I guess the pics made the guy think I was easy, but obviously if I said no to porno and sex, I am not like that. And while I’m there texting him, he keeps asking me what I think of him. I thought it was very weird he didn’t bother asking more about me.

Guys, I know I come off a hard judge, but it’s really not hard to move me. Just be friendly, flirty (not horny), and remember I am a person, not the mirror from Snow White.

I know there are good guys out there because my ex was one and my teacher (Mr. Books I dub him) is definitely one.

Ugh, I can’t stop thinking of Mr. Books! It sucks! Especially since I will soon not have him anymore. Why does he have to be so…mature!