I Wanna Be Bad

So, I am a good girl. No, this is not my personal opinion. This is fact. Ask any one of my friends and family and they will say I am a good girl. I never gave my parents trouble or friends. I never been in fights, smoked a joint, got sloppy drunk, or had sex with a stranger. I say my "please" and "thank you" and got to bed at ten tops on a school night

Told you I was a good girl.

Still, the phrase "the grass is greener on the other side" hits me all the time.

I guess you could blame it on the Oxygen show Bad Girls' Club. Two years ago, I thought it was idiotic and just another way to sell sex. But now, as a psychology major with a passion for sociology, I find it irre-fucking-sistible (well, at least I curse). These girls really don't care and have fun. They have no guilt and do what they want.

Basically, I wanna be that. I want to not give a shit. I want to fight if someone gets nasty, I want to drink when I feel stressed, and I want to sleep with no walk of shame. I want deadlines and school to be wiped from my life forever.

Still, I know most of that can't happen. I can't just forget about school because I actually want to eventually move out of my parents.

Still, I do have the weekends and summer. :)

You got the whole world looking at your blog

I mentioned the movie Julie and Julia before. Wasn't that such an awesome movie? Really, an inspiration to all of us bloggers. But if you haven't seen the movie, but love spoilers, I will reveal a part. There is this one part where Julie Powell decides not to go to work but is fully aware that her co-workers and boss read it. So she put up an excuse on her blog as a way of an alibi. Course, when she goes back to work, her boss calls her in and questions her about the blog entry. He tells her that he better not see himself in the blog.

Hell, even when Powell put up a fony story, she still got caught. So it's a first rule for those who work not to post a blog during work or when skipping work. It pretty much works out to especially not brag about blogging during work.

Which is exactly what teacher, Natalie Munroe did.

I can't really give you quotes. The story is a bit old so there is really no need for it. What did happen though was Munroe had a blog on this blogging site. She admits in some parts in her blog that she was really supposed to be working. But, it gets worse. Apparently Munroe did something even more stupid and decided to go on a frustrated rant about how the high school students were lazy, unmotivated, and spoiled. Basically brats. I understand that she was frustrated because apparently this lady is going on 9 months pregnant.

I could only imagine what happened. I guess that one school morning Munroe got after her Central Bucks HS kids a little more than usual ( I would imagine due to the hormones). These kids decided they were more pissed than usual and went to her blog. I would imagine they were doing more digging just in case they got something juicier, but only came up with Munroe's frustrated rants. All one had to do was show Mommy and Daddy and presto! The school puts a prego teacher in suspension.

Now, I a a little divided between the sides. Let me start with Munroe.

Basically, she did have every right to state her opinion. In her new blog entry, she did say that she didn't reveal her whole name or workplace. Just that she was a teacher and her students were real bastards (my word, not hers). So, she didn't really do anything wrong. She didn't taint the school name. If I got in trouble by expressing my feelings I would be pissed! Our nation was for the freedom of speech among other reasons.

Now against would be this. It was stupid for Munroe to even put her workplace on the blog. Obviously you can get in trouble. I mean putting it in a negative light. Also, she obviously didn't do a good job in covering her tracks. If she did put her pen name as Natalie M., how were those lazy kids smart enough to dig up all those blogs. I believe she did tell someone (teacher or student) and they told others. Bravo Munroe! The worst place to say a little personal detail is at a school no matter the age group.

Channel Me

I love Equals Three. Really, one of the best shows on youtube. I actually want to marry Ray William Johnson. Still, he makes me think, which you should know by now isn't a good thing.

I was thinking about how easy it is to be famous now. One doesn't have to go through the traditional bullshit nowadays just for fifteen minutes of fame. Just post a video on youtube, and if you're amusing enough, people will come. Sometimes, not just people, but the media.

Like that boy that sang Paparazzi on the piano whose name is Michael Greyson. Last year he was invited on the Ellen Degeneris show after she viewed his youtube videos. Also, the Far East Movement got popular by youtube and I think even Justin Bieber (even though I can't stand him, I have to admit he's famous).

Basically, youtube has become a stage and anyone could join.

Still, could youtube just be another way for today's culture to feed growing egoism? Or is it an opportunity do find diamonds in the rough? Youtube is a gray area for me so I don't know if its toxic or not.

I just know its so fun!

Definition of Relationship Please

I guess I am one of those girls that is hard to forget. Not in a wild girl sort of way, but mostly for my epic lines and train of thoughts. I guess that's why I have good friends that despite the distance, our bond is too strong.

I used to believe in the whole best friend thing. That there is only that one person to make me feel full and less stressed. I believed in her for quite a while.

Still, the girl I dub Candy has been a bit off. My friends, I don't know how to say it, but what Candy and I have is more...strong. It's weird, I am not in love with her or anything. But its like this sisterhood. Still, I can't tell Candy anything. I can tell my hopes and dreams, but I can never tell her what I'm really up to. It's like she has this image of me and i can't get myself to taint it.

Example would be that in high school, I was shy and very anti-fashion. I was always seen with a Happy Bunny shirt and my hair messily put in a pony tail. When I moved to a place where American Eagle wasn't consider high fashion, my views on the subject changed. I know designers now and love shoes. So when we went to the mall, Candy and I, there were these Vince Camuto shoes. I felt so happy because I always wanted a pair that I would always see from Nordstrom. Okay, bottom line was, my enhanced knowledge of labels freaked Candy out.

Recenlty, Candy has been going through relationship stuff. And it seems that calling or texting me is all that seems to soothe her nerves. Still, I have stuff going on too, and its just so weird just listening and not participating. What is this relationship?

My other friend, dubbed Shadow, is a great new friend of mine. We met our senior year and she reminds me a lot like myself. Our sense of humor and sense of culture seems too alike. She lives in another state now and I miss her more than Candy. I guess because I could be flawed to Shadow. She knows how much of a shopaholic I am and has actually listened to my crap while I listen to hers. Its the kind of friendship I really miss. Just being girls giggling a stupid shit and talking about which guy has the best ass.

Well, its only a thought. I really want to visit Shadow, but who could afford it?

Places

I used to fall for a guy quickly. It would just be a sentence he said or a kiss that would do the trick.
But now...it's not so simple. Most girls my age have boyfriends that they always worry about or buy shit for. Phone conversations would be about these bastards. Even after they tell me all these guys flaws, I just ask them "Why do you stay?"

I ask this because I have never really fallen in love. In earlier posts, you seem me mourning over lost loves, but really I was in a different stage of mind.

The whole thing with The Guy made me realize that I could never love him. Or care for him. Not a single bit. I was drunk, he responded, and the next day, that's all there was.

Still, I should feel ugly or worthless. I should be begging for that guy back.

I'm not though.

Still, would I ever want to be like the women I see before me. I know I am supposed to be like that...but...

Maybe I am reading into this too much. I have been inside all day because of the weather.

So here is where I'm at. I am young, pretty, and smart. I just haven't found any guy who has really interested me. Still, I am comfortable though and have goals. I am doing something with my life and not throwing it all away on something stupid. Maybe I'll find a guy, and when I pray he isn't like these other douche bags.

Oh well.

They do a lot of **********

It's no secret that MTV went from the channel of music, to the channel of celebrities. It seems that only in the morning, they will bother with music videos. Really, who could blame them? With the internet being everywhere, their is no reason for kids to rush to get home with there friends, pop up a bag of popcorn and watch some Britney Spears.

So, naturally MTV went for sex, because that is the product that is sure to sell. Shows like Real World and Jersey Shore are full of people getting drunk, stripping down to their underwear, and delivers young viewers to the Olympics of dry humping on national TV. At least its safe sex, I hope.

I am not a CEO of some big channel corporation, but if I were to guess, I would say that the age of viewers watching MTV would be 14-32. That's just the average, mind you.

So one would think America would be ready for the epic-ness of lewd in the family channel. But apparently no guido (incorrect?) could prepare us for SKINS.

Before diving in with the rest of the nation, I thought it would be wise to just check out the original UK episode. Okay, I only saw one. But throughout it, I kept wondering how MTV would pull it off.

Now, the first episode wasn't really bad. There was nudity though, but nothing a little inanimate object over private areas can't cure.

MTV did a good job editing too, and I think the FCC even allowed a cuss word or two. It was the second American episode of SKINS that got parents pissed.

I am not really much of a spoiler, but I will say there was two sex scenes (one homosexual) and a masturbation scene. Fun for the whole family! Of course, parents had caught on to it and now SKINS is considered too lewd.

I really don't see why scripted sex is more frowned upon than reality show sex. Is it because the writers should have known better? A parent would be happy to watch Jersey Shore with her teenage kid. A show that has people with no career outside of the entertainment industry (which is only recent) and go around talking about how much they need to smooch (fuck). The guys hunt for action, and the girls don't mind friend with benefits. In reality, these people are in there 20's and of course to a kid, it looks like fun to just screw around. Still, how is reality sex more bearable than scripted sex?

While SKINS pretty much shows the dark side of high school, it has the viewer think "Their pretty, popular, and have cool clothes, so why do they always feel like shit"? I think parents are missing the point that kids do know about sex and drugs no matter how you shield them. Hell, by the time I was thirteen, I already knew what oral sex was. Imagine what these thirteen years old know now.

I am not saying MTV did the smart thing. I really do believe SKINS belongs in another channel where parents know they could shield their kids. Channels like FX at night, or Starz would probably make more sense.

The bottom line is the show is on MTV. A channel my family watches more than Oxygen. Its not a big deal in my family, but it is in other households.

It seems that parents want to bitch about everything. It's really simple though. If you love you're child's innocent mind so much, then put a block on the TV. Better yet, just stick to local channels.

But I don't want to change majors

Why is it that people are just more interesting after a few drinks of alcohol? Now The Guy keeps calling me, and instead of swooning back and feeling flirty, A big slap of annoyance is what its me. Oh well, if I ignore him long enough, he'll stop.

Besides minor drama, school is school and once again I am hit with this big thing of future curiosity. My major is currently sociology. I love how society works. I love looking through old ads and thinking about the mens' view on things like children or women. I also love the different characteristics of religions. How one part of Christianity seems louder than the last. Society just blows me away.

So why do I have this urge to want to teach? I love other subjects too like history and English. If I do want to be a teacher, it would be for middle school or high school. Around the time where I was a troubled kid.

Readers, I guess it is obvious that sociology would be harder to make as a career. Hell, everyone needs to be taught. Right now though, I feel like my heart is split in two.

Why can't I just fall in love like any other sane girl?