The Big Picture

Lately, Candy and I haven't been spending time. I would guess because I schedules are weird. I was really disturbed by that too even though I said on a previous blog that I didn't really care. The thing is I do care. A lot. That really really sucks.

Still, we have been in this pattern before, and we always go right back to the beginning.

But I have been thinking a lot about the people I hang around with. They are either too party going to too book smart, but they are not the people I always pictured myself being around. People, when I was young, I had a vision of me being single with my own place in the city of New York, with friends of great culture. This is going to sound harsh, but none of my friends are very cultured. So, I told my mom how hard it is for me to talk or relate to things with my friends. How i always felt like I'm too old for my own age group. She told me I was right. She also told me that there are two people: Ones that have a life at an early age and ones that have a life in a later age. this meaning being that I probably won't have my honest fun and friends until later like Candy is having hers now. It was harsh, scary, but very true.

So, I have to stop worrying about friends and concentrate on myself. I have to get my classes out of the way and get out in the real world, that way, I can finally face my life.