Like the Lazy Song Says

I haven't gone out for weeks, and the fact that i was invited to possible mischief tonight and REFUSED has really got me thinking. Why? I haven't really done anything to brag about. Other than playing video games and finishing a essay sentence by sentence. I have been shopping like crazy for summer things. I got nice French perfume, bought my sister's present, bought a short leaved leather jacket, two tops, and shorts on discount. Oh, and I pre-ordered a video game. Wait, bought two books from bn.com.

I guess it's the summer weather that has made me less active. Why that is so, I'll never know. I really just want to do my classes and read a book. I want to get more tanned and not give a damn about my makeup.

So that's all I really wanted to say.

Ugh, can't even do a decent blog right!!!

THIS IS THE VOICE!

Yes, I am doing to posts today. Mostly because I really need to avoid my online classes before my brain explodes! So this post is about the new hit singing competition, the Voice. I was reading Rolling Stone's article on the show. They called it "Idol's Wild Child". Which I could see why.

I used to watch Idol every year. But every year I really lost interest. Mostly because the winners just seem to fit the usual next-door persona. Especially this new guy called Scottie Forgothisname. His baritone voice just didn't appeal to me. I don't even think that girl, Lauren Something, is great either. I watched maybe one or two episodes this season, really just because of the new judges. It's good they bring in new meat, but Tyler and Lopez are so bad at critiquing. I always felt that was another bad thing about American Idol.

But watching to Voice has something different. Instead for those horrible filler bad auditions where the judges basically laugh at the poor contestants, we just get to the good stuff. That is the first appeal. Second is of course the judges. Cee Lo Green? Blake Sheldon? WTF? Not do these people still have a career, but they fight for contestants. Well, not literally, but there is a lot of persuading involved. Not only that, but I am actually rooting for the contestants. With Idol, I always felt I could sing better than those phonies. In Voice, I tip my hat to voices like Javier, Vicki, and Xenia. I know I could never be as good as them.

Next are the live shows. I sadly don't have cable so I would have to watch on hulu. But I am watching till the bitter end.

The Metamorphosis

Lately, I have felt in sync with Lady Gaga (yes I am a monster). Really because I feel I have also been going through this metamorphosis of my own. Only, I am not wearing meat to prove it. Bottom line is, I have changes in my life that i will not mention really because I believe it would interfere with my identity.

Let me tell you, instead, the effect it has on my views. I feel a bit more at ease with the ways things are going for me. Not this fall, but next fall I will further my education in a university. I might be moving to my favorite city, and for some reason this feeling of luck is in the air. Candy and I haven't really been speaking. Not because we don't want to, merely because I am doing summer school and she is working. Trying to figure out her own problems.

I look back at my high school days and tried to remember how I saw life, fashion, music, and boys. Now I realize I am not really attracted to pretty boys, but men of depth. I realize I cannot deny I love pop. I love fashion to the true rapture, and I can be extremely melo-dramatic.

Because, I am at this part of my metamorphosis, I realize that I want to move on. Leave my home, my family, and Candy. Go where I d0n't have a name. Where I can finally introduce myself. It will happen mon ami's. And it's coming by fast.

Camping's Ideal Apocalypse

So, the world was supposed to end Saturday. Some people said at 6 while others said at 9 p.m. Bottom line is we are still here and people that spent life savings on apocalypse billboards are probably really pissed and poor. I would be too.

Really, who did this Harold Camping guy think he was??? I am extremely open minded when it comes to religion. I am a Roman Catholic myself, but I don't mind being around people with different spiritual backgrounds. If you are a satanist, you do you hun. I am not God, I don't have the right to say where you go.

But there is something about Evanangelists (spelled right?) that is very unsettling. They always seem to try to condemn people to hell. If you watch Harry Potter, you're going to hell. If you like to watch shows on NBC that are by Athiests or Jews...you're going to hell. Basically, earth is hell to these people. I can only give my opinion on the matter. I saw a movie called Jesus Camp about a group of devoted Evanangelist kids and their teacher. This group was extremely pro-life and worshiped (I mean literal on-their-knees) George W. Bush ( the son). This one girl talked about other Christian religions (i.e. Catholics) and described them as zombies. I would like to defend my spiritual background in the matter that I find our practice in standing up and sitting down very sacred. It's a practice that has been with us for many centuries to listen and learn. I think it's fine what other religions do, but don't bring down others on a documentary on netflix!

I guess, I am for once prejudice in a fellow Christian religion, which is sad. These Evanangelists are just too out there like Lady Gaga and it's extremely hard to get where there going at. I think Camping should quit trying to figure out when the world's going to end, it's making his own followers look bad spending so much money for nothing. People, I am trying to say we should just enjoy life not anticipate the end. If you believe in heaven or hell, cool, so do I. If you're an athiests, cool, lets be friends and talk about something else. Let us try not to change others. Love thy neighbor!

Virginal in the South

I am reading the book, "Sex and the City" by Candace Bushnell (nothing like Carrie Bradshaw) and have so far accept that Bushnell will not mention the subculture of sexuality: virgins.

On that I happen to be. First I would like to say that I am not going to throw a hissy fit. I am respect her material even if it is nothing like the show (I am a great fan of). Still, girls in their twenties that choose to wait till "the one" are not considered great characters. Unless we are carrying God's child (I do hope that never happens to me), we aren't really considered a role model.

Sookie Stackhouse from the HBO series is a great exception, but notice how there aren't many episodes of her as a virgin. The minute she sees Bill the Vampire, she knew she wouldn't be a virgin for long.

In my case, it's different. I don't have vampires around and have high expectations. I admit that that is overboard, but I really do prefer for the one. I admit though, it's tempting to just get it over with. Just go to a party and get the whole messy thing done. Just to see what's the big deal about it. In my heart though, I feel like it wouldn't be worth it.

Because I am a virgin, finding a true guy has become difficult not because I am a prude, rather because its a sport for guys to be to first. I could see the appeal. For them it's like being Christopher Columbus finding new land. Like I said before, it's considered a sport to get the virgin, making it extremely difficult for me.

So, here I am waiting, wondering if I am such a virgin, why do I know too much about sex? I give up on wondering and just consider it a gift. I pray each day that with every passing man the one will be closer.

Still, as sad as this sounds, romance and sex are not at the top of my lists. It's independence and travel. How sad is that?

Exams, You Understand

I have to keep this quick, mainly because this is probably the last time I will use the schools internet for the semester. I haven't been posting not because of drama, rather because of my studies. I am right now on edge on my last test. I PRAY I passed the course. I mean that I actually did the sign of the cross five times before the exam. I am still praying. Why do teachers have to wait so long to give the grades out? Ugh!

So my last one is coming up, but this is actually a easy one. That would totally suck if I failed the class I claimed I could do with my eyes closed. Shit! Now I am actually nervous about this test.

Candy and I have been a little on edge. I have been introduced to one of her friends that I will call King (she is a girl and heterosexual). I call her that because she likes Stephen King. King is okay, and really hates Bunny. I don't know how I really feel about her though. I saw her doing some hardcore drugs last week, and I am not really comfortable with that aspect. I get it if you use to relax and there is no future harm (like mary jane) but they things they had were too much for me. And I say they. She lives with two other guys her were total a-holes and i think she is seeing one of them.

I hope to write again soon. A lot more will probably happen. I am doing online courses soon and will have more time on my hands. Please pray for my grades!

Whenever a Dream Comes True

When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a writer. I wanted to write epic books for girls who were like me. Shy and didn't know what to really think of the world. Like most dreams, it just got lost in a sea of drama and unfairness the world had to offer. So that dream was put aside. It was put aside for things like education, family, job hunting.

I had a lot of ideas too. I wanted to write things for teen girls. I had so many story lines and they are still in my head. But, seeing it on the computer screen is just something I can't do. I have tried so many times, but I could never do it. I can't seem to put my stories out there on a screen.

So, last night I was looking through my spirals (fyi, I'm a school supplies hoarder), and I saw so many poems. Okay, not so many. But it then hit me what I was good at was writing poetry.

So, I'm looking through all the old spirals and notes (yes, I wrote poems on my notes), and even making some new ones. Maybe I was just always a poet.

If I am able to publish my book...well that would be great. That would be just a dream come true.