Message from the Ghost of Christmas Gifts

Christmas (or holidays if you prefer) has been driven more towards tablets and cell phones rather than the the holiday dinner. We have made a sport on that big sale on a TV rather than taking time to make a ginger-bread house with the kids. What's worse, a family would rather just buy a bunch of useless shit for the kids rather than save up money for a classic Christmas cabin away from ads and facebook.

I admit, being a shopaholic, it's a thrill to go to the mall with my war make-up on. But I was thinking that sometimes the gifts just remain useless and stuffed in a cob-webbed corner of a closet. Also, these gifts aren't even unique or thoughtful. Majority of my presents are damn gift cards!!! How is my present different from anyone else's or shows my true gratefulness of the person?

My Christmas past did involve presents, but after some thought, I realize I just had a handful that I still use. A leather jacket from grandma, a book of poems from my mom, and some hooker boots also from my mom (even at the age of 14, heels were a passion). But I don't remember Christmas by the presents, rather by the unique moments before and after. The Christmas moment I long for all year is the mass. I don't really go to church, but it's always been this necessity for me to go on that day. I think because the sin inside me is burning my leather jacket off. Either way, it's a simple piece of Christmas that does not require a trip to the mall.

So what I'm saying is the Dr. Seuss was right in the Christmas story "How the Grinch Stole Christmas". Christmas should not be made of gifts or how much you spend on a person. It should be about the moments we share and will cherish.

Where is Potter...more

Okay, so all seven books and movies are officially out and there is one Harry Potter theme park with one on the way. How awesome is that.

There is this one thing that really ticks me off about the franchise and that is the teasing of fucking Pottermore.

I wish I could explain what Pottermore is. I am only assuming (because I am not a Beta) that it’s a community of HP fans (what do you call them?) that join in on some behind the scene stuff on the books. A.k.a: It’s really just milking the money making cow.

I have no problem with some more HP. Sometimes, I do feel that maybe we should put the franchise to rest. However we are in a time where entertainment is kept alive at all costs. Like comic book heroes, Star Wars, Star Trek, the Beatles, and Lord of the Rings (remember, there is “Hobbit” the movie coming out). Hell I still want a portrait of Marilyn Monroe or Audrey Hepburn.

The difference is that this whole Pottermore thing is not open to the public. I’m sorry I don’t watch out for things like Quill challenges on my computer. Sorry that I felt that my grades were at risk. It doesn’t, however explain why the hell this whole Beta period is taking forever.

All I’m saying is that if things like facebook and google+ can handle more than a million followers and still keep up with things like updates, why not Pottermore?

A Semester Done...Now What?

A semester is done and the possibilities ahead of me seem scary but refreshing at the same time. Mostly because i am pretty damn proud of my 3.0 GPA. In high school, I was lucky enough for a 2.5. So this is a self-esteem booster.

It’s like this for me because I can officially go to a university. Well, if they’ll except me. And they better! But still, I always wanted to go to a university, even when I knew the odds were against me. Believe me, they were. In high school, I had such low self-esteem that I skipped classes and made a minimum effort of trying.

Okay, enough with the whole inspirational “Freedom Writers” bit.

As on year is coming to a end, another will begin and the older my ass will be. Lately I have been thinking of my singlehood and how there seemed to be no Mr. Books in the south. I guess it plagues me more because Candy is having a baby and I am going for university (soon?). I have come to this realization that no matter how great our friendship is, we belong in different paths.

So that’s what growing up is I guess. There is only one thing to do…I think.

Must be Another Mr. Books

The semester is technically over. Only exams this week and next. Then, it will be the last day to be in the class of Mr. Books. For those who aren't familiar, Mr. Books is the teacher I've been daydreaming about for a year. This is the last class I'll ever really have him in and it's very sad. Because he is in his fifties and I am in my twenties. He is my teacher and I am a student. He is married and I have a sick case of daddy issues (which is weird because I know my dad does love me in a appropriate way).

I am not delusional on the whole situation. So I keep my distance, while admiring his deep voice and intellect that I so much desire. Sometimes I wish I was to get the craving out of me. To just act upon the damn deed and move on with life.

Candy is the only person that knows about this sick dream. She deemed it being "intellectual stimulation" that was the problem. I very much agree.

When I meet a guy, I do find some attractive. If it has to be between "gangster" and "cowboy" I normally go for cowboy. However, conversation is shallow and flirting is fucking to most. I just don't have fun with guys my own age.

I know why too. My mom has always commented that I had an "old soul" and if I was in middle school I wouldn't believe her. However, I realized that I do prefer to talk to older men and women than my own age group. Ha, probably why I have a few close friends (as I always say, best to have a few good friends than a lot of bad ones). I never thought my "old soul" would be this much of a problem.

But as an old soul, I know that it's not right to want another woman's man. It really isn't. However, I pray to God I will find my own Mr. Books. Also pray he is at least my age if not in his 30's.

Maybe there are just no available Mr. Books where I'm at.

Might have to change that soon.

Limbo

On these posts, I try to be as balanced as possible. I always try to be gray as the situation allows me.

But these days, I find myself in a darker color and facing high school habits. I want a smoke and a drink so bad just to forget of the past wasted days I had. I am literally in this limbo and it feels like no one with push me out. I try moving myself, but my steps got heavy and my breath shorter. I see how blessed I am, but the fact that good things turn sour is what’s killing me.

I need an escape.

I need a friend that will go with me to a darker fun.

Just someone to get me away from limbo.

God Mother

In one of my classes, we learned about the social clock. This can be described as being surrounded by social pressures by your community or peers. Twenty years ago, this would be your grandmother seeing you for Thanksgiving asking when exactly she'll have great grand kids.

But now the social clock is more digital and I see it every time I'm on facebook. I swear, I can't go on facebook without seeing pictures of babies and hearing cute things the five year old girl said. The crazy thing is that the mother of this next generation were my peers who wanted to go to a university or get the hell out of the city. Few are happily married while the majority are separated from the sperm donor.

I guess it's my form of social clock because I feel that my wall doesn't compare to those of first footsteps or little pink noses. I feel...alone as a single, not prego college girl.

And now the fact that Candy and Micro are having a baby makes me feel more alone. Worst of all...I'm deemed the God Mother.

I kind of wanted to shake Candy and tell her it's a bit mistake. I really wish she'll just put the kid up for adoption. Her and Micro are not ready to begin a relationship with a child.

But since the whole world is against them on this, like the good bff, I must suck it up and by her "What to Expect". They should really come up with a book called "What Not to Expect".

It's Called Being a Gentleman!

Men, I would like to tell you something. If you want a girl to take home to mama, the first step is to not look for a whore.

Okay, don’t you act like you don’t know the difference between trash and treasure. I know for a fact you do, else how do you know which girl to bang for the night?

Second step is to win the girl, and it’s easy to get her interested for the time being, but we both know your thinking about SEX.

Candy gave this guy my phone number. So we were texting, and then he asked for pics. I gave him two. One without cleavage and the other one with. But he kept asking and then he was basically sexting me.

I guess the pics made the guy think I was easy, but obviously if I said no to porno and sex, I am not like that. And while I’m there texting him, he keeps asking me what I think of him. I thought it was very weird he didn’t bother asking more about me.

Guys, I know I come off a hard judge, but it’s really not hard to move me. Just be friendly, flirty (not horny), and remember I am a person, not the mirror from Snow White.

I know there are good guys out there because my ex was one and my teacher (Mr. Books I dub him) is definitely one.

Ugh, I can’t stop thinking of Mr. Books! It sucks! Especially since I will soon not have him anymore. Why does he have to be so…mature!

Someone Like You

I had a boyfriend, and he was so close to perfect. But his little imperfections didn’t drive me away, it was my fear. He was four years older than me, and I didn’t really know how my parents would be. So….they never knew about him.

When we broke up, it was weird, but we were still each others friends on facebook.

Months went by and we still played the single game. I was really feeling put together.

But then he goes on to say he was the happiest man in the world because of his new girlfriend.

I thought I would be more cool about this, but I find myself in the continuing “what if” series. What if I grew up and just told my parents about him. What if I wasn’t insecure.

But, the bottom line is that it’s already happened. So I will give myself this one night of being depressed and all Taylor Swift. But tomorrow is a new day.

Sounds cliche, but it’s true. If I mourned over one guy I wasn’t even brave enough to care for, what’s that going to say about my true love?

We’ll see.

Tumble on

Okay, so I have gotten a tumblr account. What is a tumblr...still kind of figuring that out. The best way I can describe it is that it's like a social network blog. You can customize it and if you see a cool picture someone else has, you can "reblog" it to your own post.

I am really excited to start the new blog, but I am not letting this one go. Really because I have said way too much on this blog. It's my first born! So I will keep this one and have both blogs running the same posts. Since people don't really know what I'm about, you might find that I will recycle posts. Okay, maybe that's just another way of saying I'm lazy. If you want to check out my tumblr simply click on the link: http://wordsfromtheghost.tumblr.com/ .

Trouble in Fairy Tale Land

In October two shows decided to pop their head out from a enchanted forest. One being the spawn of hit TV show (always wanted to say that) Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and the other from just as big hit TV show Lost. I was very interested, but alas, my busy schedule had me in computer lab looking at these shows through Hulu. Normally during the ads, I look at the reviews. One review just got on my nerves.

"It's so nice to see something so new and fresh!"

Ok, let me say that the whole modern fairy tale in modern world has been done. I am not saying Enchanted either. I am saying The 10th Kingdom. I loved it since I was a kid and have yet to see anything that could beat the mini-series. It's about a girl (20's really) and her dad getting sucked into a world where fairy tales exist. They are guided by a dog, who claims to be the grandson of Snow White, and it becomes apparent that since the death of Snow White there has not been many happy endings. I liked it because it had a little of everything. Romance, action, humor, horror, and drama. The cast was awesome (Ed O' Neil plays the Troll King), and the special effects weren't bad for early 2000's.

The only thing that came close to the show is Grimm's Fairy Tale and that is sadly a comic book. If you ever decide to check it out, don't judge a book by it's cover. It's likely you'll see a sexy Red Riding Hood showing her underwear. The comics are very well written and give modern meaning, you just have to look past the chest size.

Okay, now the actual review. The first one I actually saw the whole way through and was very excited for. Once Upon A Time actually had a decent plot line to boot! It's about the Evil Queen from the Snow White story placing a curse on all of Fairytale Land. Curse being that everyone must live in our world with no recollection what they once were. So Snow White is a elementary teacher, Queen is a mayor (very fitting), and Jimeny Crickett is a shrink. The only way to save them all from reality (can it be me too?) is by Snow White's 28 years old daughter (ugh, really don't want to explain her plot) coming to the town they live, Storybrook".

I like all characters, but strangely the star of the whole thing is The Evil Queen. Surprising. Snow White's daughter, Emma, is a character I strangely do not like. The whole time I'm watching these episodes, I can't help but think "Must really suck to have your mom younger looking then you". Her character is supposed to be the usual tough blonde chick who doesn't care for authority, but her dialogue is so boring and her character very flat despite her plot twists.

Grimm I was interested in really because it's from a writer from Buffy. It's pretty decent because it's like CSI with the Big Bad Wolf. But the main character just didn't click for me, and him acting like a chicken with his head cut off had me lose interest. I guess I would have to finish it.

Well there you go people. Big rant and now degree in Journalism to back it up. Enjoy.

Just a little change

I love the movie "Breakfast At Tiffany's". Any girl would. Not because of the fashion or the stud muffin Paul. Really just because in some sense, we have all been there. We all tried our easy way out, use charm to mask distress, or ran away from someone that actually did care about us. I always felt that that was really what the movie was all about. Then I noticed just a little something from the movie that did show up in my current events.

I have described Candy as a girl who loves the parties and always has some conflict with men. She is the girl that doesn't know too much about literature or stories like I do. Not because she is stupid, she is actually very smart despite her other friends, but she doesn't care for reading, or watching things that weren't on a screen. The only thing she will watch on stage is a sweaty country artist with toned arms.

But I really wanted to watch a play. We will say RENT. I don't remember how exactly I did it, but I managed to get Candy to go with me. As the play went on though, I really got nervous of what she thought. She didn't care for musicals, only Moulin Rouge. But in the end, Candy enjoyed it. It helped that the second leading man was attractive and a good singer. She now wants to see another musical.

I'm not saying she is going to start going to get tickets for Hairspray or Fiddler on the Roof. I'm just saying she changed in a very small way.

I started thinking in ways she changed me. I am still shy in my own way. But when I talk, I talk. I'm not as scared of people and that's really because of Candy. She would be the first to say. And she still continues to do so.

Our styles, if anything are a big indignation of how we grew. I don't wear shirts from Hot Topic anymore, in fact, even going near the store makes me feel a bit out of their market audience. Have you seen the kids that lurk there? Candy on the other hand used to love bright colors and bling. She was actually very girly. Even though she struggles to get her HS self back for the sake of Micro, she really just goes for tight jeans and tank tops. She dresses more for comfort and style basics rather than a actual label.

These things aren't bad either. We are supposed to change. If we didn't you'd see lawyers wearing overalls and nurses carrying teddy bear back packs. Everyone would still be watching Rugrats rather than the news. The Oscars would just be more like the Teen Choice Awards.

Why the hell does this involve Breakfast at Tiffany's? There is a part in there where Paul and Holly go a day living life the way the other would. Paul saw Holly's sanctuary (Tiffany's and Co.) and Holly saw Paul's (the library). And days later Paul found Holly at the library reading. She changed only a little, but she was still Holly.

So if you find yourself doing less of what you did three years ago, don't look it as a way of giving in to something. Just as a way of growing up.

It didn't end in King's Cross

I saw the last movie of Harry Potter weeks after the actual release. I found that it was touching and is was pretty sad to see something I spent a decade watching go bye bye.

Still, there was this knowing that one tower of geekdom will be closed off and everyone could just move on with their lives. The next generation might have even had a healthy balance of real life and life at Hogwarts.

But that's all that I just thought. Then I remember for geeks, there is really no end. People might still dress up as Harry Potter or Hermione Granger. There is still that Hogwarts castle in Florida and lets not forget that Harry Potter still has the most fanfics.

Still, small things and nothing as huge as a movie. Then there was Pottermore.

I heard about it, but just figured it was a site selling the Harry Potter E books, which I was very excited about. Hey, just because I preach about getting away from the hard stuff doesn't mean I don't want to read a book once in a while.

I was checking it out I guess a month after it was opened, only to find that the were not accepting anymore members. I was surprised and a bit pissed. Aparently they only allowed over a million that succeeded in a "Quill Challenge" to test the site. Imagine my surprise when I found out they weren't selling books, but they were, however, giving people houses and wands.

So I am to guess that Pottermore is half facebook and half rp. I somewhat want one, but I already spend enough time on facebook. If I choose to get one, you will know. And maybe I'll write my Pottermore experience and give you the final conclusion

Hollywood's Royal Wedding

Tonight is when history is made. Tonight, there will be a wedding all girls will dream of and brides would break the bank for. There will be tears and bitter feuds on whose right, and finally the worship of the wedding dress and the ass that's in it.

If you haven't heard from channels like E!, Oxygen, or Bravo it's the Kim Kardashian wedding to be shown tonight. Most of my female family members are going to watch it, but as I said before, I really don't see a point for the whole hype.

I really don't want to be reminded the charm life of a Kardashian. How she gets a wedding to rival Kate Middleton's or any other girls. I don't get the appeal of the Kardashians period. From what I've seen, all they do is fight, act stupid, and fight. there could be shows on more positive things. I'm not talking about a bible readings, but maybe on celebrities doing charities (hell these days everything has to have a celebrity in it) or better comedies. As show with real fictional character.

Also, I don't see why people love featuring their weddings. Don't they get that people like me are out there talking shit about their events. And the reason why I am posting this is simple:

Kardashians, Hiltons, or whoever has spent their life as a reality star are not royalty. Not of any kind. They are just famous because people have nothing better to do than to watch them buy a million dollar cake or their two hundred thousand dollars worth of flowers

Oh! Now I know why I'm Single

So, I don't know if you remember this, but Candy has a boyfriend I call Micro. Why Micro? Micro patince, tolerable, and brain. All that rolled into one. He tries to get on my good side, but always manages to piss me off. the worst thing about having your best friend in a relationship is that She acts like she is married and always has the guy with her. We can't even go drinking anymore or to the usual clubs because if one guy looks at her weird, he gets pissed.

Ugh, there is soooo much I can't stand about him. It would take forever for me to explain.

I think the reason I stop looking is because I never had the best examples. My parents are a mess, my grandparents always die, and my friends date losers. Just when I do meet a guy, and we're really hitting it off, I freak out because I am afraid after the honeymoon session.

Candy and Micro are passed the honeymoon phase. In a matter of two months, they want a baby. I have know idea what to say to that. I guess not so happy. Her last relationships were never so good, and I really don't think this is the guy. Not a good job, bad home, and immature acts. I don't get the attraction.

My God.

The Blue Corner

Probably should have posted this earlier, but Lord knows I was going through some personal shit. Let's talk about the new Facebook layout.

It started out simple enough. The made the chat bar more visible, and if you have it on your phone, you could still online. chat. But then they decided to make the news feed less chronological. They basically put all popular stories first and all the recent stories at the end. I always figured new is better, but I guess not. Then I notice that things like someone liking a link is put off to the side. Worst part: they introduced the blue corner.

For anyone who was smart enough not to get a fb account, let me fill you in. The blue corner is just that right on someones post. I guess to make it look like a dog-ear. The purpose is to tag all the peoples posts that you might be interested in. They never get mine right. How do they even guess?

I know Facebook is trying to make it more personalized and convenient, but it really comes off as that creepy neighbor that looks at you as he's watering the lawn. It makes me wonder how much fb does know about some people and is that really a good thing.

And seeing what everyone is listening or watching on fb almost goes close to stalking. I really could care less what my cousin is listening to.

I see that these changes went from being about connecting with loved ones into people really just being their own channel. Is it really a good thing that we say everything about ourselves.

I know me blogging isn't really any different. But you guys really don't know what I do. You know I am a student and very naive. I am emotional and a pessimist. But what else really?

Am I in Neverland?

I was on just seconds ago, and I saw one of my friends I was very close with on facebook.. She looked, totally different. Less punk and more pop. That's really not a bad thing because God knows I am also down that route. But still, I keep seeing pictures of who i suspect is her little boy. Not because she has a big caption that says MY SON, but more because she doesn't deny that's it's hers. I just feel that she went prego on me even though we kind of swore to each other we wouldn't. I know, it's stupid to make such a promise, but at eighteen, it was not. Still isn't to me. She doesn't have much on her in her info, so I don't know what her relationship status is. Then I have come to realize that the majority of my facebook friends have kids or are engaged. Lord knows my best friend, Candy has been on a fast track with this guy I shall call Micro.

I am really starting to wonder if everyone else is going too fast or have I just been stuck in Neverland. Never moving forward with relationships. I keep thinking of all my failed conquests all because either my standards were too high or because I just saw right through them. I guess you could say that I know when a guy is being fake, and normally the ones that pursue me are just that.

I really am not sure when single hood became this big mystery to me. I don't even remember when it started coming out as a bad thing. I always thought being single was cool, but then you see your friends in such a hurry to get married or pregnant, it really gets me to thinking that maybe I got the formula wrong.

I don't really know...for once.

Two and a Half Men goes sexy

I am really posting this because I just finished watching the new show. I looked at the comments on the bottom and was she shocked to find so many disses on the stud named Ashton Kutcher. It's obvious to see why. No one wants Charlie Sheen gone from something that obviously touched peoples hearts. They kept commenting on how Sheen was the one that made the show. Normally I would say to the haters "If you don't like the show anymore, then why call yourself a fan". But really, that would just make me a hypocrite. Like the new Carrie Diaries that is really supposed to be a prequel to Sex and The City. Or something like that. I read SOME of the book and it was...blah. Your average teen first time bull. I basically stopped there.

But then I hear this new show was going to include all former characters from the show, which does confuse me because they weren't in the book. Either way, I would prefer to hear my Samantha Jones than this new one.

The whole bedazzling old shows like Two and a Half Men and the upcoming Charlie's Angels did make me think of what it's really about. No, not money, which is always the primary answer. But dig a little deeper and see that it's about time. Even though the original audience doesn't care for a ab-tastic Two and a Half Men, it's really not about them. It's about the new viewers. I guess that's why people get so pissed at people that do like the show. Because chances are that they are younger and just enjoy these things better. These originals are bitter and aging and no matter what, they will remember of what that show once was.

Whoa, I made this kind of deep. Leave it to me I guess.

I saw the show and i wasn't too impressed myself. But not because Ashton Kutcher was the spawn of Satan. Really because They just introduced a new character and the story took place after Charlie's funeral. Come on! Why would it be happy? But Jake was awkward and pissed like usual so that really made up for it. See, wasn't all bad.

"Intellectually Stimulated"

So, I mentioned before I just naturally have a thing for teachers. Like this messed up fascination with them. It's not all teachers like females. But it's mostly handsome male men. Normally, it never was a problem. Elementary and Middle School, it was all okay. I didn't have those feeling. But probably because those men were not handsome.

What is it with all the handsome teachers being in high school or college? Is there some bone structure requirement they must pass to teach elementary? Come on, I'm sure the kindergarden teacher wouldn't mind a little eye-candy. I am jsut saying that i have never seen a Jason Segal or Justin Timberlake teach Social Studies.

I think you know where this is going. That teacher that I said I like in the last post. Not the English one, that one with the gray hair. Yep, got him again. Lord knows it was intended. I thought that maybe, it was some school girl phase and that i was all grown up now. Apparently not the case. he just makes these faces I like and I like how he says my name. Ok, stopping now. Blushing in public. Not cool.

I really like it when he "steps on toes" and really starts an uproar in class. I don't know, babbling again.

I showed Candy the picture before the semester started. She was, I guess, expecting Johnny Depp or Brad Pitt.She seemed very unimpressed with his gray hair and nerdy polo and said that he was old. I thought he looked good for his age. Whatever that was.

So, for once, Candy saw what madness I had. She said that I was "intellectually stimulated" which means I get turned on by brains. Well, that makes too much sense. I do drool at a good ass, so that's nice. But i have to admit, the girl is right. I always like a guy who knows his stuff. And i don't mean drugs or Ambercrombie and Fitch. A guy that has a passion to learn more and loves to share that. I.e. a teacher. :(

Still doesn't explain why I never see ugly first grade teachers.

Whose Fault is it Anyways?

Okay, so ultimate family drama in the family business. My mom and uncle both run the show. So, I am not going through the whole bit because that not what this post is about. Bottom line: Business is failing. Mom: Blamed because she borrows the money. Uncle: Blamed because he spends the money.

So the past 24 hours. The family has been in a uproar on whose fault it is. I actually just feel like a bad witness to all of this. I really want to be with my mom 100%. I really do. But she is threatening to quit altogether, and I know that is just a bad idea. Really bad. Because she has kids and so many other obligations, she can't afford to quit. It just can't be done. So I am very much worried for her. Not only that, but she is threatening to cut off as many ties to my uncle as possible. This is bad because, what would this look like to the younger generation when all family traditions are shut down?

My uncle is a piece of work. He is a very pugnacious man. Say one raw thing to him, and shit hits the fan. He is also guilty for screwing up the company. Even though my mom got a loan from the company (further proof she can't afford to quit). My uncle raped the company. he put what was supposed to be one thing, into this Frankenstein octopus this with crooked tentacles. Example that if one starts a business, it should remain singular, not plural unless you can afford it. Not only that, but he also spends the company money on other extravagances "for the employees" a.k.a, his labor buddies that he buys food for.

Really sad that I have no real risk in the business, but feel gray hairs poking out. I am mostly mad at my uncle for being such a dick, but I am irritated with my mom. I understand where she's coming from and maybe if she had a different life I would support her. But I am not happy she is risking my own siblings well being.

Why is that family members are stubborn? Why is it that our pride chokes the truth right out of us. When I notice I am being a dick, I try to fess up to it before it gets used for ammo. I guess it's a bittersweet gift. But the more I thought on this topic, the more i see in my family how everyone has to always be right. Just for the smallest little pellet too.

Big example is when I could only buy a swimsuit from a certain place because my mom failed to tell me we were going to the water park. After thinking about it, I decided that I would rather be in a crappy bathing suit rather than baking in the sun. I told my mom to go ahead and go to the store. She goes on to say, "Oh, I thought you said you didn't want to go to the store". You know, in this know-it-all tone. I said I changed my mind. She then says, "Well, I told you to just get a swimsuit and you said you didn't want one." Was there really a point in saying that?

I am really tired of all this family drama and I PRAY that it will all work out. Let me tell you, it isn't the first row, but it is a shitty one.

Not Giving a Damn is So Expensive

I was kind of thinking about my style throughout my life. I had my princess stage. Mom would dress her little darling up in frilly dresses to where I looked like a Marie Osmond doll. Then there was my pop stage. All the girls in middle school went through this at my school. We would try to mimic what was saw on TV movies from Disney. We normally got these clothes all in one store called Limited Too where they sold cd's from Backstreet Boys or Lizzie McGuire books.

I thought about my high school style though. All I could say was that it was trying. But the one thing I do remember wearing the most in my HS career was the little black shirt.

Okay, I had a drawer full of just black shirts. Each with some different sign. But I do remember envying girls who got there full goth on. Like the frilly skirts, the high boots, and the dramatic make up.

You know when you look on your facebook, you page has all these ads based on you interests? One of my ads is for "Authentic Gothic Attire". WTF? I got curious though and took a look.

I remember how two shirts from popular "edgy" store from Hot Topic is basically forty bucks. A frickin blouse on that website was forty bucks. I always figured goth, grunge, emo, or punk people were supposed to dress to piss off society. I never thought pissing someone off would be so expensive. I hear that most of these lifestyles just go to a thriftstore, but I'd imagine it would have to be a pretty awesome one because Goodwill never seems to provide to their standards. Not from what I've seen anyways.

My style now has become more expensive, but really because I do care. That's not a bad thing either. I'm not saying I go out in my Gucci sandals (I wish), but I don't rely on black like I used to. I shop at American Eagle or Forever 21. Course, if I feel rich, I go to Buckle. Still, when i look at my closet now, I see how different I changed. But my new go to article of clothing has become jeans. Not a bad thing. I'm sure one day I'll grow out of that as well.